Jig Blog

Update: Jiggers Ceilidh Band on Scotland's BBC Live hogmanay show?

I have a theory that if everybody spoke like Robbie Shepherd, there wouldn't be any wars.

Sadly, this year the Jiggers ceilidh band will NOT be performing on Radio Scotland's live Hogmanay show. A bit gutted. That would have been fun. It was an honour to be asked, though! We've got some of our musicians playing at Hampden, others at the Hilton, AND (to further disappoint those of you who like fortuitous alliteration) at the Mormon Church. (maybe they could call it a Hootenanny?) It's going to be a pretty tight stretch as it is...

Good news, however, is that I discovered the DV tapes from the original BIG JIG were NOT corrupted after all, it was just the video camera I was playing them in! D'oh! Well, that means that I'll have TWO events to get a new Jiggers video from (the other being the Wee Jig on Saturday night there). So all in all, things are going OK.

 www.bbc.co.uk

Jack of all trades, master of..all of them actually...

You have to wonder what drives this guy.

The internet...raising the bar just a little higher for the rest of us.

Marital Arts

via www.straightfrommybrain.com

15 tips for the worried bride (part 3)

The final five wedding tips for worried brides.

(tips 1-5) (tips 6-10)

11. Prep your team.

Bridesmaids, best men, ushers : these people have been given a special honour, and they should be expected to work for it. They're there to enjoy but also to support you. The best man should be circulating with the guests, introducing people to each other, working the crowd, keeping people abreast of what is happening. He should be making sure people's needs are met, and that no-one is bored or cold or embarrassed. He should be prepared to make an impromptu announcement, and if he's not a public speaker, get him to write his announcements down, or arrange someone else to make them for him. Make sure he's got his mobile phone in his sporran, too. Bridesmaids will help you with your outfit and moral support, but do make sure that they're not under the illusion that they can go and sit in a corner with their friends and ignore people. The wedding party (that's the top table, usually) are the hosts of the event, and it will work best when the hosts engage with the guests. Appoint people with responsibilities that they are capable of handling, and make sure they are accorded a special honour for this during the toasts. A token gift will also help cement those important relationships, so don't scrimp on thankyous.

12. See the value of difficult guests.

Sometimes you have to invite people you don't really want to be there. The lecherous uncle,for example, or a heavy-drinking boyfriend of a friend. Some guests will be there to pass comment and air their own insecurities. Everyone is human, and some more human than others. Don't resent them. Use them as a reminder that marriage itself will have its awkward experiences. But equally, make provision with your support team of best man and bridesmaids. You don't get to enjoy an entourage every day, so make the most of them!

13. Take your watch off.

Most weddings don't run exactly to schedule. Try not to fit too much in, and also plan for things running over. Canapes for the guests while photos are taken is a good idea, or even a magician or a good string quartet. And if the speeches make the meal last an extra hour, this is where having an experienced wedding band comes in handy. Check the venue can move the evening buffet back a bit, and ensure that evening guests have somewhere comfortable to wait if they've arrived early. Some of our clients hire live background music for the evening guests (e.g. a jazz trio) to play in the retiring room (where the dinner guests join them while the function room is turned around).

14. Relish the Challenge

Children throw tantrums when things don't go their way. If you're mature, you embrace the challenge. Sometimes you have to wrestle with external sources of aggravation, and other times it's internal conflicts. If you identify your wedding day as a worthwhile challenge, rather than an elaborate party to dazzle people into thinking how great you are, then I think you are approaching it in the right spirit.

15. Lower your expectations.

 What?! Settle for second best? NEVER! Well, that’s not really what I’m saying. What I mean is: remember that your wedding is not somehow going to magically make the rest of your life perfect. Don’t give it that kind of place in your thoughts. Obsession is when you try and ascribe more value to something than it is really worth. Widen your horizons: don’t let your wedding obsession become something which actually alienates you from people.

Those are some of my ideas. Feel free to add any suggestions that you think are useful by clicking on the "comments" link below.

An interview with Pete Waterman

Paul Morley, on his "Showing Off..." series talks to Pete Waterman about Simon Cowell and the x-idol-pop-factor phenomenon.

Pete Waterman is experienced in the mechanisms of music and business, so I'm always interested to hear what he says. The work Stock, Aitken and Waterman produced in the 80s and 90s is a brilliant example of people who knew how to work the music industry.

One thing that frustrates me, though, in conversational interviews is that a question gets asked, but rarely answered properly. Waterman, seems to struggle with decisively articulating the nature of the x-factor show, or the role of Simon Cowell. He talks, certainly, but after 15 minutes, I'm still not sure of much of what he was trying to say... He doesn't sound like Bob Dylan or anything, but I'm not sure I'm enlightened by this discussion.

This is strange to me, as I would assume that a key to success in one's own industry is the ability to define it with precision. But perhaps that's not the case with media-related enterprises. Maybe that mystery and ambiguity is at the root of success, and why they even named the show "X-Factor". People talk about Simon Cowell being the only star of his show, and I believe they're right. Every interview he does simply reminds us of his mystery: the part he doesn't reveal about himself.

When I read or watch interviews with masters of industry,I often find they are rarely capable of holistically encapsulating the nature of their job. They give examples of "lessons", describe "behind the scenes" events, but rarely is there an overall guiding principle, a law by which they are governed.

They seem like specially engineered products of their environment, with their subconscious senses guiding them, but often without the intellectual capacity to fully rationalise their environment, or explain their actions. Perhaps this is true: maybe they are like the unthinking popstars that are so valuable to the likes of Waterman and Cowell, and that's why they themselves are so successful.

But perhaps these people, when being interviewed, are not concerned with revealing their own secrets? I wonder whether exposing the true motivations of their heart is too uncomfortable? Each interview becomes an opportunity to propagate their own mystique, so why should they make themselves smaller by articulating themselves into a box? They may have made their millions, but they still have their mystique to lose. The magic trick is forgotten about once you understand how it is done.

Since I'm dispensing advice this week, I thought I would add this into the mix.

15 tips for the worried bride (part 2)

More suggestions for staying sane in the run up to your wedding day...

6. Talk to your fiancé.

Generally, men don't look forward to things the way women do. We have very small brains, you see. So it's likely you're going to be a little bit more excited than him, but if  your fiance is not emotionally invested in the wedding at all, this is something that you really want to be talking about. Not in a confrontational way, though. Ask "am I letting you get involved in this celebration, or do you feel like a spectator?" Some guys think it's about giving you what you want and shutting up for the duration of the day. Given that your wedding day is symbolic of your planned married life together, this might not be the healthiest approach. Like the hen-night t-shirt which proudly announces "Made To Be Obeyed"... If you can't get your husband-to-be to be genuinely excited about your wedding day, you need to understand why not.
 

7. Let men be men, and women be women.

I might be branded either a luddite or a post-feminist here, but I think you should find ways to express the groom's masculinity as well as the bride's femininity, to symbolise the important role of gender in your relationship. Many weddings are thoroughly girly. This can result in the men resorting acting like children, or drinking too much as an outlet for their manliness. If you can make glad sacrifices to each other's specific tastes, recognising why you're doing it (not just as a consolation, but actually affirming each other's differences) then it's a healthy signal to send to the person you're spending the rest of your life with. I'm not talking about a wrestling contest or anything. A hog roast, or a fine cigar. What about a section where the men and the women "retire" to separate places after dinner while room gets turned around, then come together for the dancing? That's got a kind of old-fashioned chic. For more tips on how men can be men, visit The Art of Manliness

8. Things will go wrong. So think about what's important.

I've been at weddings that have had any number of "glitches".  I've seen fights, screaming matches, brides fainting at the altar (they had the ceremony in the evening, once she got back from hospital!), toppling wedding cakes, double-booked venues...but not all at the one wedding. It's a rare wedding where everything goes to plan, and often the best ones are where something unexpected forces you to think about what is important. Equally, it's usually the least enjoyable ones that run precisely to schedule. You know somewhere at these events there is some serious person running things with a military precision and temperament to match. So relax. Don't be self-indulgent, but don't be a clockwatcher either. Your own temperament sets the mood for the guests.

9. Don't worry about who isn't there, focus on those who are.

The plain fact is that at a wedding not everyone you want to be there will make it. But on the day, you have to focus on the people who ARE there, and you can be sure that they will make it a great day for you if you express your appreciation to them. Remember that the wedding is a symbol. It's important, but it's still just a symbol of something more important.

10. Don't be pretentious.

You're having a wedding in Scotland. We are not a pretentious people. These people are less impressed with bells and whistles than they are with honest, heartfelt expressions of friendship. I'm not saying you need to get all gushy to everyone you meet, but be genuine and don't worry too much about whether you are putting on a good enough show for your guests. Gratitude and kindness beat ostentation every time.

Post your comments below. Part 3 follows next week. PS It's not too late to arrange that Shrek-themed wedding, by the way.

The Wee Jig, Saturday 21st November, Glasgow

Anyone want to come to a FREE SECRET CEILIDH on Saturday night in Glasgow West End? Email us or call 0141 419 9558 for details.

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15 tips for the worried bride (part 1)

So here are some thoughts on wedding worries. You'll have to balance the fact that I've been helping wedding clients with their entertainment for 12 years with the fact that I'm still only a bloke, and will never fully understand the deeply disturbing psychosis of the female mind :-)

1. Develop a sense of perspective.

This is easier said than done. But the truth is that you've probably been planning for this day for a very long time, perhaps even before you met your spouse-to-be. Some women start planning the details at the age of 3 or 4. That's a freight-train of expectation which is going to be hard to stop. Learn to put the brakes on your expectations, and find ways to cross-reference them with this thing the rest of us call reality.

2. Move your expectations to marriage, not the wedding day.

Marriage is for life, not just for weddings. The wedding magazines don't tell you that, because they don't make their money out of your marriage. One way to get a rein on your expectations is to shift them to marriage, rather than your wedding.  Marriage can be so much more rewarding, and give you so many more great experiences and memories than your wedding day ever can. Speak to the person who is marrying you both. If it's a minister, he might offer marriage classes. These are surprisingly valuable, and can help contextualise the cultural and spiritual importance of marriage itself, rather than just the wedding ceremony.

3. Forget yourself.

The bride is the only one who gets to dress in a big amazing white dress. Don't be fooled into thinking that makes you a princess by default, though. The wedding day is as much about the guests and family as it is about the bride and groom. Remember that guests have made an effort to get dressed up to come along, and that's something to be grateful for. The entertainment and food are secondary to recognising the fact that you guests are people too. They have emotional needs, and nothing will make a wedding gathering more enjoyable than guests who feel appreciated. But before you think I'm saying you should go about apologising to everyone, and worrying about them...

4. Remember yourself.

Maybe you've got an awful lot of friends and extended family, and enough money to feed and entertain them all. If that's the case, then be aware that you are not planning a small informal social gathering, and as a result you just cannot get around all your guests. The speeches are a perfect time to communicate to everyone how grateful you are for them making the effort, but let them know that if you can't see them much today, you're really looking forward to hearing from them as you start your married life. Make firm offers of dinners and get-togethers for after the wedding...And not just so you can talk about the wedding: so you can find out about what's happening in their lives.

People do want to see you enjoying yourself, not getting flustered. Let them be gracious to you as you are gracious to them.

5.Think about the symbolism.

A wedding day is heavy with symbolic meaning. It is not just a party, it's a celebration. Think about what you are celebrating; what you are marking. Your lifelong commitment to your spouse. It symbolises The importance of friends and family and community. Remember not to place more value on the symbol than the thing it symbolises.

So that's the first five ideas for starters.  I'd be grateful for any responses to this. Just click on the comments box below this post and add your thoughts!

Stay tuned for part 2...

Tips for Brides: Scottish Weddings Without the Worry

I recently asked Brides-to-be over on the Scottish Wedding Directory wedding forum about what they worried most about when planning their weddings. I'd like to repeat the question here.

I've dealt with brides and grooms-to-be for the last 12 years of running the ceilidh band, but I have to say I was pretty shocked and amazed by some of the answers. Shocked that there could be just so many things to worry about, and amazed that women can enjoy or look forward to their wedding day at all!

Worries include:

Wedding Dress: fit or split?

Weather: will it rain? Will it ruin the photos?

Guests: will they enjoy it? Will they be bored?

Family: will they show up? Will they show me up?

And then of course you've got the long list of wedding suppliers. Are they all reliable? Will they turn up on time? Will they deliver on their promises? Will they ruin everything?

As a Scottish wedding music supplier, I've worked with clients at both ends of the spectrum: those who are lovely, relaxed and enjoying every minute of it, and of course the occasional "bridezilla" (though to be fair, it's often just as much dad-zilla, groom-zilla, or sometimes even the vicar...man-of-God-zilla)

Next week I'll be posting on this subject, trying to understand *why* people get so frantic about their wedding day, hopefully outlining some of the practical solutions to the problem of wedding worry.

So to all the brides-to-be out there...what are you worried about?

Glaswegian translators wanted. Gonnie Geeza Joab?

I noticed this BBC article  last month about a company needing Glaswegian-English translators.

Since running Scotland's best wee wedding music agency seemed like tough work in comparison, I decided to email them my application. 

Hi there. You've got to be kidding, right? Do you really need people to translate from Glaswegian? In what context?

I may be able to assist, having a fairly strong haunel oanna Glesga patois (though I have rarely seen it written). Sometimes I slip into it without realising. Gizza joab, eh?

G’oan yersel’

(Kind regards) etc...

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Today I received the following reply:

Dear Greg Thank you for your interest in the position of Glaswegian Interpreter. We received applications from a large volume of candidates and have been following a careful process to determine the individual best suited to the job.
Unfortunately, on this occasion you have been not been selected. We appreciate your taking time to contact us in relation to this opening, and wish you the best of luck in the future.
With best regards,

Andreas Schwarz

Trainee Project Manager

todaytranslations ltd

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Shockaroonie.