So here are some thoughts on wedding worries. You'll have to balance the fact that I've been helping wedding clients with their entertainment for 12 years with the fact that I'm still only a bloke, and will never fully understand the deeply disturbing psychosis of the female mind :-)
1. Develop a sense of perspective.
This is easier said than done. But the truth is that you've probably been planning for this day for a very long time, perhaps even before you met your spouse-to-be. Some women start planning the details at the age of 3 or 4. That's a freight-train of expectation which is going to be hard to stop. Learn to put the brakes on your expectations, and find ways to cross-reference them with this thing the rest of us call reality.
2. Move your expectations to marriage, not the wedding day.Marriage is for life, not just for weddings. The wedding magazines don't tell you that, because they don't make their money out of your marriage. One way to get a rein on your expectations is to shift them to marriage, rather than your wedding. Marriage can be so much more rewarding, and give you so many more great experiences and memories than your wedding day ever can. Speak to the person who is marrying you both. If it's a minister, he might offer marriage classes. These are surprisingly valuable, and can help contextualise the cultural and spiritual importance of marriage itself, rather than just the wedding ceremony.
3. Forget yourself.
The bride is the only one who gets to dress in a big amazing white dress. Don't be fooled into thinking that makes you a princess by default, though. The wedding day is as much about the guests and family as it is about the bride and groom. Remember that guests have made an effort to get dressed up to come along, and that's something to be grateful for. The entertainment and food are secondary to recognising the fact that you guests are people too. They have emotional needs, and nothing will make a wedding gathering more enjoyable than guests who feel appreciated. But before you think I'm saying you should go about apologising to everyone, and worrying about them...
4. Remember yourself.
Maybe you've got an awful lot of friends and extended family, and enough money to feed and entertain them all. If that's the case, then be aware that you are not planning a small informal social gathering, and as a result you just cannot get around all your guests. The speeches are a perfect time to communicate to everyone how grateful you are for them making the effort, but let them know that if you can't see them much today, you're really looking forward to hearing from them as you start your married life. Make firm offers of dinners and get-togethers for after the wedding...And not just so you can talk about the wedding: so you can find out about what's happening in their lives.
People do want to see you enjoying yourself, not getting flustered. Let them be gracious to you as you are gracious to them.
5.Think about the symbolism.
A wedding day is heavy with symbolic meaning. It is not just a party, it's a celebration. Think about what you are celebrating; what you are marking. Your lifelong commitment to your spouse. It symbolises The importance of friends and family and community. Remember not to place more value on the symbol than the thing it symbolises.
So that's the first five ideas for starters. I'd be grateful for any responses to this. Just click on the comments box below this post and add your thoughts!Stay tuned for part 2...


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